Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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