I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
