So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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