I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
