people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
