first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
