your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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