I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
