why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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