just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
