i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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