At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize