I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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