Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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