What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
