I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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