omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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