He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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