He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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