How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
