do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize