We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
