idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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