Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
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