Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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