I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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