Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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