Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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