More tranny stories later!
Can Purell be used as lube?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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