Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize