I heard we made out
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
