My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize