Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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