Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
