when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
