Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
