Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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