Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
