Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
