p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
