After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
