Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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