if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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