If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
