Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
