Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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