I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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