Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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