do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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