Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have fence marks all over my body
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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