How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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