The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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