You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
