Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
