I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
