once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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