she looked like the bat from fern gully.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
